On with today’s post. I haven’t been out since that horrible 16 mile run a week ago last Sunday. Last week I had tummy problems which were also, really weirdly, causing me extreme dizziness. Every time I moved my head it was like the room was spinning! Thankfully that passed by Friday and I was all set to go out running on Saturday for my long run, but I had tummy troubles again. All advice is not to go running if you do.

That’s not what is bothering me though – it’s my neck and my knees. My neck was getting better but has flared up again in the last few days; I can’t stand for long as it starts hurting, let alone run. And my knees – I had hoped they would be better now after my run but they’re just not improving. It is actually very worrying. They had been a little bit sore before that super long run but I could run through it.

I have my half marathon race at Silverstone race track (home of Formula 1 in the UK) *this Sunday* which I will of course run (subject to obvious health problems like if I caught a nasty cough or flu) and if my knee gets worse, I guess I’ll just have to walk or run walk some of it. I *need* to do at least three more very long runs (minimum 18 miles, preferably 20) before the actual marathon but if I have to skip one of those to save my knees for the big day, I will.

May or may not head out for a run this week in the evening.. will probably be worth seeing just how bad my knees are at any rate! Stupid knees. I seem to recall they did this last time and the pain went away – it was just down to the unexpected activity and once they were stronger it was fine. The problem is usually caused by an increase in mileage and I’ve certainly been doing that of late. So fingers crossed this is only a temporary setback.

In other news I have been experimenting with ways to let everyone know where I am when I run the marathon. I’ll be doing a test run of it at Silverstone. Basically I’ve found an application for my phone which I can use to press a button and it tweets my location as a Google Maps URL. I can also upload photos too and get it to update Facebook! Which sounds perfect. Keep an eye open for a post later in the week telling you how you can see my running commentary on my running!

Also a big thank you to those of you who have publicised my blog as well – it is much appreciated.

As a reminder, my JustGiving page is at http://www.justgiving.com/barnpops.

I was planning on a run today but my knees are still sore from Sunday and I seem to have come down with a dizziness virus and keep nearly falling over. So I suspect the run will be postponed until tomorrow and if I’m still not better tomorrow, it’ll be my long run on Saturday. Ugh. I just keep having to remind myself that in 8 weeks time I need never run again except for buses!

Today marks the Proper Launch of my bid to raise the £1,300 I need for the Miscarriage Association – I am not even halfway yet. I am running the marathon NEXT MONTH, everyone!!

If you were intending to sponsor me before the race, now would be a good time! More than anything else, it would be nice to not have to worry in the final few weeks about hitting my target. Of course if you are only planning on sponsoring me when I finish, I can totally understand!

Any amount would be wonderful – you don’t have to sponsor a lot – a few dollars or pounds all helps.

I would also be extremely grateful if you spread the word as well, whether posting a link to this post (or my blog at http://www.braveorfoolish.org.uk) to Facebook, Livejournal or indeed anywhere. If you prefer you could spread my JustGiving sponsorship page link at http://justgiving.com/barnpops instead. Or even my Facebook Fan Page at http://www.facebook.com/BraveOrFoolish. Any of these would be absolutely wonderful.

A few people have offered to pass forms around their friends or at their workplace instead. I have put together a pack with some of the words from this post and the sponsorship forms. You can download the sponsorship pack here. Thank you so much!!

I’d like to remind everyone that JustGiving not only supports all credit/debit cards, but also PayPal. Having a different currency to the UK shouldn’t stop you from donating!

And here’s a reminder of what it’s all about:

My name is Rosanna, and I am going to run the Virgin London 2010 Marathon on behalf of the Miscarriage Association.

Running the Movember 10K last year, hence the “moustache”!
** Official photo (c) IES Photography

During 2008, I spent 4 months on strict bedrest (flat on my back for most of it) and confined to a wheelchair when I was out and about. And for much of the rest of the year and half of 2009, I was hardly active.. completely unfit in fact. In July 2009 I started my training for the London Marathon 2010. Why on earth would I want to do that??

Well, I will be running for a charity, a charity that means a lot to me. I always knew I wanted to do it for charity, but I wasn’t sure which one. Then last year whilst watching the runners go by, I spotted the charity I knew would be the right one – The Miscarriage Association.

I’ve had two first trimester losses, and here in the UK you get a leaflet from the charity with some lovely kind and helpful words on it along with the Box of Tissues proffered rather sadly by the doctor bearing the sad news. It was good to get something besides the usual clinical literature from the hospital – this was something more personal and caring. What struck me was the words on the outside of the leaflet: “We are sorry that you have had a miscarriage”.

The Miscarriage Association helps by providing information and support when it’s most needed in many ways. They have a telephone helpline as well as email support. They produce many leaflets to help parents, which are handed out in hospitals. Their site has excellent information. They also work with hospitals and medical staff to help deliver good practice when dealing with a loss. And finally, they also work to raise awareness of the facts and feelings of pregnancy loss, for instance when miscarriage is represented on television or other media. In the words of the charity:

“We know that miscarriage can be a very unhappy, frightening and lonely experience. If you have been affected by the loss of a baby in pregnancy, whether recently or long ago, we hope that you will find here support, information and comfort.“

Wanting to raise money for this charity isn’t so much for me, as I have dealt reasonably well with my losses, but for my friends – many of whom have far more tragic tales than mine to tell – and for anyone who has or will suffer the loss of a baby in this way. Supporting the Miscarriage Association means supporting parents going through this ordeal. And educating the NHS better on dealing with losses – the care is so very variable, sadly.

There is a further reason for choosing the Miscarriage Association. I was told to expect to lose my youngest daughter when a routine scan revealed I had an incompetent cervix at 18 weeks. I had emergency surgery, but there were no guarantees – I was told it would be really good luck to make it to 24 weeks, and every doctor I have spoken to thinks it is a miracle I kept her safe until 35 weeks. I lived hour by hour for those long months of lonely bedrest with that very real fear of losing her. We had a happy ending, but during those early non-viable months especially, it brought it home to me all the more for those for whom there is not a happy ending and we are so very blessed she is here and healthy. I can’t save those babies, but I can sure as heck try my best to help those parents who will not be as lucky. This challenge is my way of doing that. From strict bedrest to a Marathon. And why not?

If you want to read more about my story and my training so far, please see the links to the right.

Please considering sponsoring me for this Challenge and spreading the word. Miscarriage is a very taboo subject, and as a result The Miscarriage Association does not get as much support as it deserves – it is a small charity. Your sponsorship will go a lot further, in fact income from sponsorship makes up more than a quarter of The M.A.’s £200,000 annual budget . This is another reason I am determined to raise as much as possible for them.

If you are a UK taxpayer and Gift Aid whatever you give, you’re adding another 28% to the charity without it costing you a thing.

Take a look at the figures and see what your money can do:

£5 pays for sending out a pack of 5 information leaflets on miscarriage facts and feelings

£17 pays for helpline support and a leaflet pack for one person

£20 means staff can send leaflet packs to four people

£36 will staff the helpline for an hour (responding to 2 to 4 requests for help)

£50 is one hour’s outreach costs, telling 10 nurses, midwives or doctors about The M.A.

£100 will enable The M.A. to train a new support volunteer

£250 pays for a training session for GPs or hospital doctors

£500 means they can send leaflet packs to 100 people

£1,000 will cover the cost of researching, writing and producing a new information leaflet

You can find out more about the charity and what it does and the information it provides over at http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Finally a huge thank you to the recent generosity of Elizabeth, Amy and Squeezypaws (wow!) for your very kind donations.. very much appreciated indeed!

The weather started out promising (heavy rain had been forecast, there was none, it was just overcast) and after the usual procrastination, I set off around 3pm to do this week’s Epic Run. Within a mile I knew I wasn’t feeling great – last week I’d felt pretty good as I ran but this week I just felt horrible. My nose ran constantly. My knees hurt a little for most of the run but never got any worse. On the plus side my back didn’t hurt – I guess it was strengthened by the work I did last week. However, my neck was agony – I’d pulled a muscle in it on Thursday night somehow and I have been in constant pain since and can’t keep my head upright very easily without massive discomfort.

Just after the mile point, an asshole on a trail bike came toward me at high speed (they’re forbidden on this path) and before he reached me, turned around and zoomed off. A few minutes later he came past again, splashing through the plentiful puddles at top speed sending enormous splashes. When it became clear he was not going to slow down on account of me a few dozen yards away, I had to stop in a rare non-puddle area and flip him the bird. I then pretended to call the police on my phone. Sadly I could still hear him going back and forth even a few miles further on as those things are LOUD. Next time I will call the police for real.

My pace continued okay, and at the hour point I took the first of the gels. I’ve been experimenting with different types and this week was the Lucozade ones, which don’t require water and will be the ones available for the marathon itself (although I’ll take my own). I seemed to get on alright with these, no tummy problems and they weren’t as sweet as the others. Only downside is they were a pain to open and I often had to bite the end off. I’ll need 8 of the darn things to get through I think, yikes.

I actually passed another lone female runner today – first time I’ve seen one that far out. She smiled and said hello as she went past – most runners on Sundays are doing long runs for the marathon right now so they’re all a lot more friendly than they were when I first started running. No fool would be out on a horrid day in winter that far from home otherwise – we’re all in this together!

At 6.5 miles I reached the turnaround point for the week before only this time I was to continue. I had reached the rather grim town of Erith, whose only redeeming feature is its Morrisons store (that should give you an idea) I had to briefly go inland for a few hundred yards, including past a pub that was blasting out music so loud I could feel it in my chest. Then there was a set of steps to go down which really did my knees in. Heh.

Then it was time to run where I had not run before – past the lovely Morrisons store and then along a grubby industrial road with enormous puddles that took up the whole pavement so I had to run in the road at times. After a mile it was time for the turn off onto Erith Marshes, an extremely desolate area of marshland with nothing to break the wind. In a moment of insanity I decided to increase my run from 15 miles to 16, and decided to run an extra half a mile onto the marshes themselves. Admittedly some of it was curiosity over seeing the marshes, which I haven’t visited for years, but still. A kid on a mini motorbike went past, but he at least this one went slowly. Finally, at 8 miles, I hit the turnaround point. I was shattered, and it was somewhat worrisome I was only halfway.

So I turned around, and oh. Seems the wind had been behind me all the way out. I now had to run *into* the wind. Oh dear. Given I was already exhausted, and wasn’t having a great run anyway, I realised I’d been a bit of an idiot. It even seriously occured to me at one point to just get the train home, but that wouldn’t help my marathon training. No, I was committed to 16 miles now. I took the next gel and soldiered on.

My neck started really aching at this point and it was a struggle to keep my head upright against the wind. I ran back along the industrial road, past the Morrisons and up the steps (oh yay) before finally reaching the halfway point from the week before. At this point the week before I’d felt quite fresh. Today I felt like a truck had hit me. Still, it was kinda nice to be on the home stretch even if it was a very long one.

Things weren’t too bad for a mile or so, but eventually I realised how far it was left and how horrible I was feeling and I was not happy. I had the third gel, and it was not long after that that I realised I was having serious trouble holding my head up with my extremely sore neck. The wind was still against me as it had been all the way back. No muscles were really aching but I was just so exhausted and feeling dizzy and my body temperature felt a bit odd. It goes without saying my pace was right down, it was a struggle to get below 13 minute miles whereas I was supposed to be doing 11:30 miles. Most of the time it was around 13:30 – appalling. I made a promise to myself that if I made 13.1 miles (half marathon) distance, I would let myself walk a little way. That last mile and a half lasted eternity.

Finally, I hit 13.1 miles. A good 6 minutes or so slower than I had last week, only this week I still had another 3 miles to get home. In the past I’d have thought “Oh sod it!” and carried on running regardless, but it is a testament to how awful I felt that I actually did stop and walk for 0.3 miles. I managed a reasonable pace walking at least. It then occurred to me that chances are good I might end up walking some of the marathon anyway, so I need to train my walking muscles to work after running for so far – 2.5 hours at that point.. heck even Paula Radcliffe doesn’t run for that long (yes, I know!) I ate one of my jelly shot things which I had to fill in the final gap once I’d run out of gels, and then started to run again. Oh wow, that hurt.

I couldn’t keep it up for long, and promised myself at the 14 mile mark I’d let myself walk again. It took forever to get there even though it was just over half a mile. It crossed my mind to walk the half mile to the bus stop and get the bus home but with only a few miles left it would be quitting. Still, it was such a relief to walk again. I actually managed a reasonable pace – around 14 minute miles. Not actually much slower than how I’d been running. Hmm. I had the last of my jelly shots and walked for 0.7 miles. Sunset had been and gone, and it was starting to get really quite dark. It’s quite isolated too, but fortunately the only people I really saw were a few other joggers who either smiled or said hello, or fishermen. I took off my headphones just to be safe.

With 1.3 miles left to go, I decided to run again, because frankly the fact it was getting dark was bothering me – no streetlights on deserted river trails! So off I went.

You can imagine my surprise when it was actually okay to run. My pace was quite happily what it was a few miles after starting out. In fact I ran the whole final 1.3 miles at a good 11:38 pace and felt I could have gone for quite a bit longer when I did finish. A second wind! Perhaps there is something to this strategy of run/walking. I always said I would run the damned marathon but it would be nice to actually finish in a reasonable time and if I can do that by stopping to walk for half a mile every 5 miles or something after the halfway point, so be it!

So I got home, 3 and a quarter hours after leaving.. I’d been running for 93% of that, and very brisk walking the rest. It was.. knackering. Lesson learned – don’t push yourself so damned hard.

So, injuries? Well, my muscles didn’t ache as much this week (I sure taught them a lesson last week, clearly!) aside from my neck which is unrelated to the running. However, I have blisters on my toes – matching ones on the outside of my big toe, and weirdly a massive red one just above where I got a black toenail a few weeks ago. It’s really odd. None of them hurt when I was running either, thankfully. Still, my body hates me and I don’t blame it.

My mile splits:
Mile 01 – 10:50:00 (fresh legs, yay!)
Mile 02 – 10:32:00 (ran faster as scared/angry at motorbike dude)
Mile 03 – 11:16:00 (slowed down a little once I was sure I was safe)
Mile 04 – 11:32:00 (settled down to “marathon” pace)
Mile 05 – 11:26:00 (pleased to see I’d kept to marathon pace without looking)
Mile 06 – 11:45:00 (a big very steep slope up and down)
Mile 07 – 11:59:00 (trying to negotiate my way through Erith)
Mile 08 – 11:18:00 (out the other side, wind behind me)
Mile 09 – 12:35:00 (ah. seems the wind is now against me)
Mile 10 – 12:15:00 (second gel kicked in I guess)
Mile 11 – 12:25:00 (not feeling good at all)
Mile 12 – 12:27:00 (I am rather unhappy and worried I won’t make it home!)
Mile 13 – 13:04:00 (almost wouldn’t call it running at this point)
Mile 14 – 14:01:00 (walked for 0.3 of a mile at the start)
Mile 15 – 14:58:00 (walked for 0.7 of a mile)
Mile 16 – 11:38:00 (wow – walking gave me fresh legs!)

And because I haven’t brought one of these out for a while, a chart!! Click on it to see the full size.

Mile splits over the last few long runs

It’s essentially a comparison of my pace over the last few weeks. The higher the line, the faster the run. I’m aiming to do the marathon with an average of 11:30 but there’s not a hope of that at the moment. Before pneumonia I managed 10 miles at below 10 minute mile pace, so that pneumonia business sucks.

Anyway, back to the graph – as you can see, last week was by far the best in terms of pace, and this week I wasn’t really any better than two weeks ago, except I kept going for longer (the important thing). Just goes to show how feeling like crap or feeling great can make such a huge difference to times. Really hope I feel good on April 25th!

I’ll do another night run this week, then my next long run is on Saturday as I have a portfolio-building photo shoot on Sunday. Might take a different route next week and run in the opposite direction for a bit of variety! I have four more Horrendous Runs to do (i.e. runs in which I run further than I have done before, so I feel like the dead for the next 24 hours – at least I’ve hit the halfway point with those now) and at least a couple of long runs over 10 miles left. They’re going to seem so easy!

Two weeks today until the Silverstone Half marathon.. eek. Eight weeks to go until the real thing.

It wasn’t too bad, actually. The rain is quite nice for cooling you down and aside from having to avoid being splashed by puddles (even when soaked from the rain, a fresh wave of freezing muddy water is not appreciated) and having a couple of near escapes, it was mildly tolerable. That’s not to say I enjoyed it, good grief, no. But it wasn’t as unpleasant as I was expecting.

I ran 5.5 miles in 54 minutes, so an average of just under 10 minute/mile. This is compared to my average of 11:20 minute/mile for my long runs. In fact I even managed to do an average 9:30 for the final mile just to see if I could. Yes, it does seem that my long runs are doing me some good. A month ago I was exhausted after doing 6 miles, but today I felt fine when I finished, able to run a lot further, and ran the fastest I’d run for a long while as a finale.

Last week I also did a midweek run, with the double pushchair. It was 4 miles although I did it in three lots as I stopped a few times to do stuff like shopping and eating and walking with my toddler. Running with that pushchair is so exhausting it definitely counts as a much longer run though.

I suspect I will need to be doing two midweek runs ideally, which is a bit of a sod. Oh well. They do seem to help my long dreadful weekend runs though.

The bad news is I think my knees are starting to play up a bit and I’ve no idea what I’m going to do about that – it could get to be a real problem later on. No other problems aside from a bit of mild back ache which I thought was down to the Camelbak but it still hurt today and I wasn’t wearing it, so I don’t know. No blister or ankle problems though!

In other news, my number and chip arrived for the Silverstone half marathon which takes place two weeks on Sunday. We’re staying at a hotel nearby the night before because it is just Too Far to drive, run, then drive home again all in one day. I’m currently portfolio-building for my new portrait photography business and I have a session fairly near the previous day so it’s all worked out nicely!

Next run – 15 miles on Sunday. Hrm. Will definitely be stocking up on the carbs and porridge.

Oh, and it’s 2 months today until the marathon itself. Crikey.

The furthest I have ever run before was 10 miles, which I did both last week and some time back in October. Upping the mileage so significantly (a 33% increase) from one week to the next is Not Advised.. the recommendations are 10% a week. However I don’t have time to increase by 10% a week thanks to the pneumonia, and I know from past experience that I can push myself to do 25% further than I have the previous week with no ill effects other than feeling like absolute crap. This week was definitely going to be the biggest increase in my schedule so far though, and hopefully I won’t do one that high again or even close to it.

So, after stocking up the night before on a large chinese takeaway, and having a big bowl of porridge for lunch, I waited an hour (through a rainstorm) and reluctantly decided that those 13 miles weren’t going to run themselves. Gear on, out the door.

Much to my surprise at first it was a lot easier than my 10 miler the week before.. a few miles in and my heartrate was at a much more reasonable level (a good 3-4bpm below what it was last week) and in fact stayed like that for the whole run. In fact my pace stayed reasonable for the first 10 miles, whereas it went to pieces around 6 miles last week and disappeared entirely at 8 miles. Whether it’s because I was better prepared this week with the big meal the night before and the porridge, or because last week had really helped me I have no idea, but today, physically at least, was a good day to run.

There was some negotiation of bushes and large puddles involved at the start, and I guess at least my shiny new shoes don’t look so new any more. In fact I am very happy with my new shoes as this is the first time I have ever done a long run and not had toenail or blister or arch of the foot problems. They rock. The less said about my knee, the better but I don’t think it’s down to the shoes.

I decided to take half a gel at 5, 7, 9 and 11 miles. I didn’t have the same gels as last week as Steve had to buy them for me and these ones were different, requiring 400ml of water per gel. That’s a heck of a lot of water.. first of all it’s totally immeasurable when drinking from a Camelbak like I do, and secondly I refuse to have 400ml of water sloshing around in my stomach in one go. So I had half a gel at a time and estimated what 200ml of water was likely to be. It seemed to work – I didn’t have any tummy trouble (unlike last week, but I can’t be sure it was related to the gels) and I didn’t run out of water. All good.

Much to my pleasure I finally encountered, for the first time ever, other people training for the marathon. I mean theoretically anyone could be, but this was the first time I actually talked to someone else in the same boat. A pair of dudes came running behind me a little bit faster than me and as they went past I said hello.. they guessed I was on a long run from the Camelbak and asked how far. I told them, and they said they were doing a 15 miler to which I naturally asked if they were training for London, which they were. We had a brief chat about how hellish it all was, then they had to turn around and run back. It was nice to know I am not the only crazy person running this route at the weekend.

I reached my halfway point, 1.5 miles further than I had run along this route before – all the way to Erith. Even when I’ve cycled that far in the past it’s been tiring. My turnaround point was almost at the Morrisons, so round I went and ran back into the setting sun.

Before too long the fatigue began to kick in despite the gels, and my pace dropped. The music helped distract me a little, but my big problem was a bad back from my Camelbak – I’m hoping my back will get stronger as this is getting to be a real issue. At 10 miles, as I expected, I was knackered. It seems that when I hit the distance I ran before, that’s all my body is prepared to do and then it conks out. So basically anything I do over my previous session is all improvement. It’s also the hardest part.

The last 3 miles took forever, and I was counting down the minutes. I completed the half marathon in 2:27:38 – so that’s my time to beat when I do the Silverstone Half Marathon in 3 weeks time. I ran for a few minutes afterwards just to take my running time up to 2hr30mins as time on your feet is just as important as all the rest. I did a lap of the local park with this.. stopping halfway round.

Then I had to walk back home.. a mere few hundred yards but it was harder than anything that had come before, my legs felt like they were floating and I was waddling and every step was agony. I actually needed help to climb over the doorstep, and it took me a few minutes to climb the stairs, on my hands and knees. It is ridiculous!! And this is only half distance *sob*

So, my times..

Mile 1 – 10:27 (Last week -10:34)
Mile 2 – 10:44 (Last week -10:54)
Mile 3 – 10:54 (Last week -11:13)
Mile 4 – 11:07 (Last week -11:30)
Mile 5 – 10:59 (Last week -11:33)
Mile 6 – 11:08 (Last week -11:55)
Mile 7 – 11:22 (Last week -12:24)
Mile 8 – 11:23 (Last week -12:01)
Mile 9 – 11:18 (Last week -12:06)
Mile 10 – 11:37 (Last week -12:38)
Mile 11 – 11:57 (furthest I have been before)
Mile 12 – 11:59 (I was surprised I kept it under 12 minutes given I was at this point at mile 7 last week)
Mile 13 – 12:24 (finally unable to go much faster!)

So as you can see I did a great job up until Mile 10, with a very reasonable pace. Given I “folded” (felt absolutely shattered) at mile 6 the previous week, that’s a huge improvement.

I would like to do 11:30 for my marathon pace which will get me round in 5 hours. Obviously time isn’t everything, completing it is, but it’s nice to have a time to aim for. Who knows if the long runs over the next few months will enable me to accomplish this? If I don’t get sick I have a good chance, I guess.

Did I mention how little I want to run 15 miles next Sunday? Yeah.

I had to take two weeks off YET AGAIN due to having a cough. I just didn’t want to risk the pneumonia coming back. But finally the cough disappeared, and although I still had a slightly snotty nose, it was time to head out.

On the plus side, I had new shoes (yay!) and I thought I would try running with music for once.. honestly, it is very tedious running for two hours straight with no stimulus. It’s not like on a walk where you can stop and look at interesting things – when you’re running you have to watch your feet for much of it so you don’t fall over, and as the horizon is bobbing up and down all the time it’s not as easy to just stare at something interesting. Anyway, the music made it slightly less tedious. Not something I would do in the dark or on short runs, but I need something for the long runs.

It was also time to experiment with gels, which for the uninitiated are concentrated sugary energy thick liquids in a pouch. You eat a portion of one every 15-30 minutes depending on what you need. It gives you a bit of a lift, basically, and over very long distances helps you avoid the infamous “wall” where all your muscle glycogen or whatever it is gets used up around 20 miles. The downside is that they can often play havoc with your stomach when running which can get.. messy, and we will say no more. So it takes some experimenting to find the right ones. The brand I tried may or may not have been alright as I already had a few cramps anyway. Will try them again next week and see.

I also had my Camelbak of water attached, so basically I was kitted out like I was going to be out for days. After a few miles a jogger (didn’t look serious, just someone running for the sake of it) told me to speed up (why, oh why can’t people mind their own business?!!). I told them I had ten miles to go. There was no reply.

It was a slight exaggeration because of course my target was “only” 10 miles for this weekend. I actually felt quite good at 5 miles, but by 7 miles I was starting to feel bad. The final two miles were the hardest, because they were further than the distance I’d run two weeks earlier. Even though I was running slowly, I was exhausted. My legs hurt, my left knee in particular. I lost another toenail (different one to usual) but on the whole the new shoes were a big improvement on the old ones. I didn’t really blister, and didn’t get sore toes.. I only realised about the toenail when I took the shoe off and it was my fault for not trimming it enough. So the new shoes win!

When it finally came to stopping, I think my legs nearly dropped off and I instantly felt dizzy. When running long distances, stopping is often worse than carrying on and this was no exception.. thankfully that feeling passes quickly, along with the nausea! So, I ran for two hours, and did just over 10 miles.. 10.5 miles in fact.

Mile 1: 10:34 (deliberately kept myself slow)
Mile 2: 10:54 (a bit slower than I would have liked.. little did I know!)
Mile 3: 11:13
Mile 4: 11:30 (this is the sort of pace I’m aiming for on Marathon day)
Mile 5: 11:33
Mile 6: 11:55 (real shame I couldn’t keep it up for long)
Mile 7: 12:24 (exhausted)
Mile 8: 12:01 (got a sort of second wind.. okay, I finished off the gel)
Mile 9: 12:06
Mile 10: 12:38 (dead.. the second half of this mile was more like 14:00!!)

I then ran around the park for 5 minutes so I could say I’d run for two hours – time on your feet is just as important as distance covered.

What’s really annoying though was seeing the 10 miler I ran back in October. The same distance.. 22 minutes faster, in 1:39. WAH. Still, it’s a good start – I’ve only had a few hours sleep the last few nights due to teething baby and I hadn’t been out for two weeks, and even then I’d only been back running a week. So I shouldn’t be too hard on myself.

Two night runs to do this week in the evenings, then a 12 miler next Sunday. Woo..

And finally a big thank you to Gill and Jane for their generous sponsorship – thank you so much! Gill is actually just as mad as me – she is going to be cycling the C2C route (147 miles of nasty hills up north, travelling from coast to coast!) in May for ARC – Antenatal Results and Choices. They’re another small charity, and they provide wonderful support to parents who are faced with the results of a bad screen/test in pregnancy, so very much related to the charity I am supporting. She is doing it with a friend in memory of her daughter Anna. If you have anything extra to spare, please consider supporting her – this is her JustGiving page and I have also made a link down the side of this page.

So I’m doing the logical thing, but I still feel guilty as anything over it and worrying that it’s going to cause big problems. I’m falling behind in my schedule and I’ve barely begun. The important thing is that I have done long runs of at least 3-4 hours by the start of April. I’m just trying to convince myself that chances are good that I can go a bit further than planned on some of my weeks so maybe I can catch up.

Ironically I was quite motivated to go out this weekend – I bought some gels to try for the first time, new shoes, and headphones as those long runs get extremely tedious. Bah. Hopefully I’ll feel better enough next week to do my midweek runs at least with my new shoes – I’m not wearing headphones in the dark, no way!

Even if I never manage to run more than 16 miles on a long run, I can walk the rest on the day. You’ll see!

Instead I went back to the shoe shop and exchanged the wrong shoes I bought last week with the correct shoes. Sadly they’re not as nice a colour, and they have to be man’s shoes as I’m a size 10. I also did a gait analysis just to confirm they’re the right sort (and this also makes me eligible for a 30 day swap if they don’t work out) and all seems good! It was remarkable to see the video – with neutral shoes my feet clearly overpronate (that’s bend in slightly) as I run. With the new shoes my feet are nice and upright, as they should be.

Interestingly, the lady in the shop said that if I ran in neutral shoes I’d likely have achilles tendon problems.. anyone remember those dreadful achilles tendon problems I had when I first started running last year and had neutral shoes as I just didn’t realise? I thought it was only because I’d sprained my ankle, but more likely I’d weakened my ankle by running in the wrong shoes which is why it didn’t take much to injure it (I did it whilst stretching).

I’ll try them out on my next run – gives me something to look forward to at least! I’ll only use them for long runs from then on to preserve them for the marathon itself. My problem with my old shoes kicks in at around 4-5 miles in as they’re too small so my old shoes will be fine for weeknight runs. It does mean I’m almost looking forward to my long run now to try out these new shoes!

In other news – a huge thank you to Myfanwy, Chloe, Jacqui and Lynne for sponsoring me recently – it is so much appreciated! I’m now 40% of the way towards my target of £1300.. slowly getting there! In early March I’ll kick off a huge sponsorship assault and beg y’all to spread the word as far as possible. Before then and people might think the marathon is too far off, hence holding back on a big offensive right now.. although of course any mentions are always welcome! I’m also up to 93 on my Facebook fan page.. not far from the magic 100!

I need every ounce of motivation I have to get out there. I know why I’m doing it – for those parents that don’t get to keep their babies, I want to help make a difference – but sometimes I need something more than that to remind me. And right now it honestly feels like my support is at an all-time low. I’m not talking about the money (although sponsoring me is always good!!) – I mean the moral support. Unfortunately it is this stage when I need it the most.. when the end does seem forever away with a ton of horrible training runs in between, when running a relatively short distance takes it out of me. A few people have been wonderful and it is sooooo appreciated, whether it’s leaving a comment on here or even just clicking “Like” on a Facebook status (here’s my Fan Page as a reminder) but they really are a very, very few.

This is the magnitude of what I have ahead of me. Here is my current plan, to be fitted around my two small children, husband, photography, meals (can’t run after a meal, can’t run with no fuel in the tank as it were) and “life”:

Week 1 – 24/01/2010 Long run: 6 miles (last week – first run in 3 months)
Week 2 – 31/01/2010 Long run: 8 miles (today – nearly killed me)
Week 3 – 07/02/2010 Long run: 9 miles
Week 4 – 14/02/2010 Long run: 10 miles (fab way to spend Valentine’s Day)
Week 5 – 21/02/2010 Long run: 12 miles
Week 6 – 28/02/2010 Long run: 14 miles
Week 7 – 07/03/2010 Long run: 16 miles
Week 8 – 14/03/2010 Half marathon at Silverstone – 13.1 miles
Week 9 – 21/03/2010 Long run: 18 miles
Week 10 – 28/03/2010 Long run: 20 miles
Week 11 – 04/04/2010 Long run: 22 miles – the peak of my training distance.

And every week I will also need to go out every Wednesday and Friday for a 4-6 mile run in the cold and dark. On good days it won’t rain or be windy.

Weeks 12-13 are taper weeks, where I cut right down so as to recover in time for the marathon on the 25/04/2010. Week 14 is the marathon itself. A mere 26.2 miles then it’s all over.

As you can see, the marathon itself is the LEAST of my worries. Okay, it’ll be further than I’ve run before, but I do that every week pretty much and it’ll be in a totally supportive atmosphere. Unlike my long and very lonely runs every Sunday, or my scary shorter runs in the dark on weekdays. I’m hopeful I’ll get support on the day but I already have the motivation to run the marathon (or I’d never have put myself in for it!) What I am lacking in is encouragement for this TRAINING. This is the hard and lonely part and the very worst bit is surely right at the start with so much ahead of me and so few achievements behind me. I wish I enjoyed running but I can truthfully say I don’t.. at best it’s okay, most of the time it’s an ordeal. I love the benefits but I really don’t like getting them. Unlike cycling, which I genuinely do enjoy.

Today’s 8 mile run was just dreadful. I was really not in the mood for going out, despite the fact it was sunny to begin with. It’s at times like that when I REALLY need encouragement. I went out, because I have to (and I’ll keep on doing so) but it makes it a lot easier to go out with moral support. I wasn’t cold, but it was hard work. My times were quite a bit slower than normal.. heck, I ran 8 miles back in October and it took me 15 minutes less. I was out there for close to 90 minutes, running continuously. For the last 45 minutes of that, not only was I not enjoying it, it was first uncomfortable and then horribly uncomfortable and heading towards super painful. It felt like running through treacle, especially when there was a head wind. I felt dizzy at times, especially if I had to slow down to run through bushes to avoid large puddles. I got snowed and sleeted on. Some dogs savagely attacked each other just feet from me as I ran past. And when I got home I was too exhausted to even have a shower at first. My blisters are back. My foot arches are sore. I’ve killed my regrowing toenail that I killed last time. I know I am going to ache for the next few days, then I’ll have to go out again on Wednesday evening.

Foolish doesn’t even begin to describe it. I need my head examined. But I am not quitting, whether I get support or not.. I am far too stubborn for that – when I make a promise, I make a promise especially when it comes to other people’s money and charity. It’s just more moral support would make it a lot, well, more tolerable!